Thursday, April 1, 2010

First entries to the poetry contest!

Happy National Poetry Month! Below are the first five entries to the contest. I'll continue posting the poems in batches throughout the month. To get a notification each time there is a new post, click on the "subscribe" button in the left column.

Remember, you have until April 26th to send in your entry. Read about the prizes and guidelines here.

Jennifer C., age 16

Anxiety

Anxiety walks with me wherever I go.
She wares me out, this I know.
She carries no confidence, while depression keeps her locked up alone.
Still smiles but inside shes dying, going crazy inside though its rarely shown.
Sleep seems hard to come by during the night.
Always wondering when she'll ever change, wanting to escape the tunnel to find a light.
She drowns herself in misery, chocking on her own thoughts.
Wearing her bracelet full of broken dreams and memories, tying it with double knots.
Shes walking toward her beautiful sea, shes wanting to go..bye-bye.
Standing on the rails which separate life from death, she spreads her arms and now she'll fly..goodbye.

Isabelle, age 17

C’est moi?

Who am I? A simple question that teenager’s ask themselves.

Not for me.

Doubts. Questions. Unfamiliarity. Confusion.

Anxiety spiraled these questions out of control for me.

I was just a freshman excited for high school, right?

SMACK

End freshman year and my mind collapses.

SMACK

15 fine and fresh. My whole life ahead of me.

“These are the best years of your life!”

“Enjoy them!”

“You only live once, when you’re older you have no time for fun.”

I thought I had myself figured out.

Lists of catastrophes went through my mind…

I’m suicidal? What?

I’m crazy? What?

I’m not sure if God exists? What?

I’m going to hell! What?

I hate myself.

I hate you.

Who are you looking back at me?

I don’t even know you.

You’ll end up in a mad house.

You are insane!

You are going to embarrass yourself.

-The voice never shut up. It would scream louder until I got in a panic.

Walking around with a smile on my face.

Inside there were tears.

My insides hurt and no one could know.

No one could understand me.

Sleeping was my friend.

The voice left at night time, and the night sky my blanket.

The stars minded their own business while I prayed for a way out.

They glittered all on their own, even for me.

That night when the stars told me to strengthen up and

Look beyond that voice, I changed.

The voice still screamed but this time I smiled at it.

This voice is not mine.

My voice is stronger.

I do things, not you voice!

You lied to me all this time voice.

I am beautiful.

I am a soul.

I am loved, even if I have you screaming through my mind.

You are ugly.

I am beautiful.

You are messed up.

I am a beautiful mess.

You are lying to yourself.

I am powerful.

David, age 17

I'm afraid

Suddenly, i open my eyes
The night is gone
I'm out of my dreams
Like always i'm afraid
I'm afraid to wake up
But i'm also afraid
To go back to sleep

I'm afraid to be alone
But i'm also afraid
To be with people

Every thing i do is with a fear

I walk with a fear
I eat with a fear

I talk with a fear
Being afraid is part of my routine

Every thing i do is with a fear

I'm afraid from every one
And every thing
I'm also afraid
From my own skin
But what am I afraid of?

that's the question
I've being asking.

Stephanie Faith Sizeland, age 18

DEPRESSION

I sit next to the water and think

I think about life

About my future

About my past

And everything in between.

I dig my toes into the sand

And wish i wasn't alone

Because facing life like this...is hard

Waking up each morning

Feeling worthless

Beaten down

And thinking that i'll never be anything more

Then what i already am...

Looking out into the distance

A few tears come

They aren't rapid

There aren't many

But just enough

To ease my sudden pain.

I hate feeling like this...

And being alone just makes it worse

I feel like awful

Like if i were to die

Right here

Right now

No one would even look up

No one would think twice about it

They would just go on with their day

And forget about me.

Part of me knows that isn't true

However,

There is another part

A part that lingers deep within

That questions it from time to time.

I know i shouldn't wonder

Shouldn't worry

Shouldn't cry

But i can't help it anymore.

My emotions completely take over

I can't control them.

Depression is a lot worse

Then some make it out to be...

You think about death

Think about suicide

The ultimate sin.

You never attempt...just wonder

But even wondering

Is a sin in itself.

I sit in the warm sand and ask myself

How do i get happy again?

Do i pretend everyday...

For the sake of my loved ones

Act like it doesn't effect me

Or do i break down

Who knows?

The only real thing i can do

Is take it a day at a time.

It's hard

It hurts

And it's hard to deal with

Every day.

But i'll move on

I'll push forward

And let go.

If i hold on to it all

Let the pain fester

Build up

And drag me down

It eventually will make its way out

By any means necessary.

Crying

Screaming

Cutting

Bleeding

It gets its revenge.

I can't let depression control me

It's something i have to overcome

Something i have to take hold of

And sometimes

I'll have no choice

But to let it have it's way.

Life never gets easier

It gets harder

It's a pain.

But if i take that negative energy

And store it away

It will just drag me down.

And down i will stay

Until i let it out

Until i let it go.

God as my witness

I swear

To take hold of my depression

To rip it to shreds

And to try and live my life...happy

Because i'm done.

I'm done faking smiles

I'm done faking laughter

I'm done faking happiness.

I want to be happy

Really happy

And i will be

I will overcome this

That's a promise i make to my family

A promise i make to my friends

A promise i make to my love

And a promise i make to myself.

HG, age 17

A Villanelle

Breathe in and think, "Everything will stay,"

Lying alone on a summer night,

Exhale and convince myself, "okay."

Struggling to keep emotions at bay,

Anxious that all I love's taking flight,

Breathe in and think, "Everything will stay."

Foreseeing the fees that will be payed,

Trying to keep my eye on the light,

Exhale and convince myself, "okay."

Squeeze my eyes shut, wish it all away;

Too often these battles are tense and trite,

Breathe in and think, "Everything will stay."

Morose when happiness goes astray,

White-hot flames we should seldom ignite.

Exhale and convince myself, "okay."

Sitting in bed, I plead as I pray

For sanctity, only for a day.

Breathe in and think "Everything will stay,"

Exhale and convince myself, "okay."

2 comments:

  1. Rebecca_BrownningApril 7, 2010 at 7:20 PM

    I like Jennifers also..I can relate to it.

    ReplyDelete